Thirteen Reasons Why
by UnbelievinglyRandom
Summary: "Hello, boys and girls. Rachel Berry here. Live and in stereo. No return engagements. No encore. And this time, absolutely no requests.I hope you're ready, because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. This was not a spur-of-the-moment decision. Do not take me for granted…again" Puckleberry
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything you recognize is owned by Jay Asher or Ryan Murphy. **

**A/N: I know people have done this before. But I though I'd try my hand at it. Puckleberry of course. Also note that after the first line break it goes back to when he originally got the tapes.**

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**1A**

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He wonders if they know what the packet holds. They have to know. But they probably don't care. No one cares. No one cared. And now. Now it's too late.

He quickly pays gives the man the money needed before shuffling his feet. He knows what the packet holds. He knows where it's going next. He wishes he didn't know. He wishes it wasn't real.

Making his usual quick stop at the seven eleven he buys the usual slushy but can't bring himself to drink it.

Throwing it in the trash he continues to class. Everyone gives him looks. As if they know. But they don't know. And for some reason he's glad they don't know.

Entering the classroom he glances at the chair in the middle of the room.

Her chair.

* * *

He notices the package right away. It's propped up on the small porch, his name printed it on it in neat handwriting. It's not everyday he gets something in the mail. And for some reason, unknown to him at the time, he doesn't feel a bit excited about it.

Grabbing it with both hands he ushers his sister into the house. Quickly putting on her favorite TV show before making his way down the hall and to his room.

Sitting down on his bed he quickly opens the packet. His eyes clouding in confusion when he sees the tapes in the box. Each side of the tapes numbered.

Does anyone listen to tapes anymore? He wonders.

Shaking his head he heads towards the garage, he had spotted a tape player when his ma had made him clean just a week ago.

Quickly returning to his room he goes back to sitting on his bed.

And for some reason he's nervous. He doesn't know why. And he sure as hell would never admit it but he's a helluva nervous.

Inserting the tape in the player he presses play.

He wishes he hadn't. Her voice drifts out of the small speakers. He misses her voice. Not that he would ever admit it to anyone but himself.

_Hello, boys and girls. Rachel Berry here. Live and in return engagements. No encore. And this time, absolutely no requests. I hope you're ready, because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you're listening to these tapes, you're one of the reasons why. I'm not saying which tape brings you into the story. But fear not, if you received this lovely little box, your name will pop up...I promise. Now, why would a dead girl lie? Hey! That sounds like a joke. Why would a dead girl lie? Answer: Because she can't stand up._

His hand is trembling as her voice drifts out of the speakers. He pauses it because he doesn't know if he can keep listening without punching his wall. But he soon beings to play it again.

He misses her voice too much not to keep listening.

_Go ahead. Laugh. Oh well. I thought it was funny. The rules are pretty simple. There are only two. Rule number one: You listen. Number two: You pass it on._

Thoughts are running through his head faster than ever as he pauses it once again just in time for the door of his room to open.

"Noah." his mom greets "What are you-" she gives the tape player a look.

"School work." he blurts out cringing.

Rachel's tapes. Suicide notes. She took a bunch of pill you know? Yeah _schoolwork_.

"School work?" she asks with a laugh "Yeah okay Noah. Dinner in a few."

"I'm not hungry" and it's true he isn't hungry. Not anymore.

He receives another weird look before a hand is on his forehead "You don't feel warm. First doing school work and now you don't want to eat, Noah?"

He shrugs off her hand "I'm fine ma. I'll be up here if you need me."

He receives another look but she nods leaving the room.

Glancing at the tape player he wonders if he should keep. He knows it's not his choice anymore. He has to listen to them.

_Hopefully, neither one will be easy for you. When you're done listening to all thirteen sides—because there are thirteen sides to every story—rewind the tapes, put them back in the box, and pass them on to whoever follows your little tale. And you, lucky number thirteen, you can take the tapes straight to hell. Depending on your religion, maybe I'll see you there. In case you're tempted to break the rules, understand that I did make a copy of these tapes. Those copies will be released in a very public manner if this package doesn't make it through all of you. This was not a spur-of-the-moment decision. Do not take me for granted...again. You're being watched._

He stops the tape again. He doesn't know how much more he can take. Take her for granted? He never did. He knew what he had. He had her not too long ago. And he gave her up. For what? He didn't even know anymore. He wishes he hadn't given her up. Maybe she would still be here. With him.

Why was he listening to him? He was a part of the reason she killed herself? Was this some kind of joke? Yes he wasn't the nicest. But he had apologized. Everything had been fine. He loved her. And he didn't even get to tell her.

Rushing to the bathroom he empties his stomach in the toilet. Dragging his feet he makes his way back to his bed.

This had to be some kind of joke. Why him? Checking the package he notices the map of Lima stuck at the bottom of the box. Opening it he notices that she placed gold starts above a place in town. Places that meant a lot to her. Was his story in one of those places?

Running a hand through his mohawk he pushes the play button again.

_I'm sorry. That wasn't fair. Ready, Mr. Hudson?_

He knows the name. He knows the name too well. His best friend. His ex-best friend.

_Finn, honey, you were my very first kiss. My very first hand to hold. You were the star quarterback. The most popular guy in school. I guess maybe that was the reason I wanted to be your girlfriend, was that too superficial of me. I just wanted to be someone. But then agin, so did you right?_

He begins to wonder what number he is. Is he number five, six, seven, maybe lucky number thirteen. And he could maybe keep the tapes. Take them with him straight to hell just like she had said.

_We meet when you joined Glee Club. Remember that. Actually I had you for Spanish. But you don't remember that do you? Of course you don't. Why would you? It's not like you liked me. Loved me._

He shudders when she laughs. The laugh he once loved is now borderline hysterical.

_When you reach the end of these tapes, Finn, I hope you'll understand your role in all of this. Because it may seem like a small role now, but it matters. In the end, everything matters. I know you didn't mean to let me down. In fact, most of you listening probably had no idea what you were doing—what you were truly doing._

What did I do Rachel? I though you had forgiven me. I guess you didn't. Not really.

_Our first star can be found at C-4. Take your finger over to C and drop it down to 4. That's right, like Battleship. When you're done with this tape, you should go there. We only lived in that house a short while, the summer before my ninth grade, but it's where we lived when we first came to town._

_And it's where I first saw you, Finn. Maybe you'll remember. You were in love with my friend. School was still two months away, and Becca was the only person I knew because she lived right next door. She told me you were all over her the previous year._

_She told me that at the end-of-school dance, you finally found the nerve to do more than stare and bump into her. The two of you danced every slow song together. And soon, she told me, she was going to let you kiss her. The very first kiss of her life. What an honor!_

He begins to wonder who else had listen to tapes before him. Did they hate them as much as he did as they continue to listen in, just to hear her voice? Hoping that maybe she would sing something. Anything to listen to her one last time.

He now knew what people meant when they said you don't know you miss something until it's gone. He wishes he didn't have to learn it the hard way. Was there an easy way?

_I wanted to see what you looked like, Finn, so we called you from my house and told you to come over. We called from my house because Becca didn't want you to know where she lived...well, not yet...even though her house was right next door. You were playing ball—I don't know if it was basketball, baseball, football. It didn't care much. But we waited._

He remembers that day. They had been playing football. Training for the tryouts.

_We sat in my front bay window, talking for hours, when all of a sudden you and one of your friends came walking up the street._

He pauses the tape again wondering for the thousand time why he's still listening to her. But he knows the answer. He misses her. He misses her voice. He misses her. This is probably the last time he will ever hear her and that single though is enough for him to continue.

He wonders who the other person with the tapes is. Is he or she on the list?

He presses play.

_I remember that because that's when she told me about it at her going-away party that summer._

He remembers that party. That was when he had first officially meet her, seeing her at temple did not count. He remembers thinking she had the prettiest shiniest hair and the longest legs for someone their age, for someone so short.

_Becca moved away before the start of school, and I fell in love with the boy she left behind. And it wasn't long until that boy started showing an interest in me. Which might have had something to do with the fact that I seemed to always be around since we had Spanish together and then Glee club. At Beck's party, everyone hung around the outside patio even though the temperature was freezing. It was probably the coldest night of the year. And I, of course, forgot my jacket at home. After a while, I managed to say hello. And a little while later, you managed to say it back. Then, one day, I walked by you without saying a word. I knew you couldn't handle that, and it led to our very first multiword conversation. No, that's not right. I left my jacket at home because I wanted everyone to see my new shirt. What an idiot I was. "Hey!" you said. "Aren't you going to say hello?" I smiled, took a breath, then turned around. "Why should I?"_

_"Because you always say hello." I asked why you thought you were such an expert on me. I said you probably didn't know anything about me. You never did no anything about me. You never bothered to learn anything about me. Like the fact that I didn't eat meat. What a lovely first date that was._

That was the first time he heard her sing. And it was the best sound he had ever heard in his life. That's when he fell in love with her, even though he never admitted it to anyone or to himself. Not when he was throwing slushies in her face. Not when he was kissing her.

_Not having a mom and two dads gave me a disadvantage. I didn't know how to act around a boy I liked. So of course I started trying to hand out with you more. I guess you got used to me being around. You finally asked me for my number. I was so happy. But you forgot to mention a little detail: Quinn. Don't worry Barbie you will hear your name again._

He looks up as his door opens again "Noah. Can you come sing me to bed." the small child asks.

He shakes his head "Not today brat. Go to sleep now. Don't give ma any trouble."

She nods with a disappointed look on her face but leaves the room.

_By the time I got home, you'd already called. Twice._

_Daddy asked who you were, and I said we had a class together. You were probably just calling with a homework question. And he said that's exactly what you had told him._

_The next day we went on our date. Or the date I planned. Remember. On the floor of the auditorium. You kissed me. My first kiss. It was a nice kiss. You still didn't tell me about Quinn._

He remembers their kiss. It was the best kiss he had ever shared with someone, and he had kissed many girls before.

_But still it was a nice kiss. Just a kiss. Our lips pressed together. Just a kiss. And that's it. Wait. Stop. Don't rewind. There's no need to go back because you didn't miss a thing. Let me repeat myself. That...is...all...that... , did you hear something else? A shiver races up my spine. Yes, I did. We all did. Well, you're right. Something did happen. And then, Rachel? What happened then? Oh. So sorry. You wanted something sexier, didn't you? You wanted to hear how my itchy little fingers started playing with his zipper. Finn left. He just left. Well, what did you want to hear? Because I've heard so many stories that I don't know which one is the most popular. But I do know which is the least popular. The truth._

He remembers his very first kiss. It wasn't that good at all. Not like his first kiss with her. He remembers the rumors. The drawings on the restrooms. He never believed them.

_So thank you, Finn. Sincerely. My very first kiss was wonderful. And for the month or so that we lasted, and everywhere that we went, the kisses were wonderful. You were wonderful. But then you started bragging. A week went by and I heard nothing. But eventually, as they always will, the rumors reached me. And everyone knows you can't disprove a rumor.I know. I know what you're thinking. As I was telling the story, I was thinking the same thing myself. A kiss? A rumor based on a kiss made you do this to yourself?_

_No. A rumor based on a kiss ruined a memory that I hoped would be special. A rumor based on a kiss started a reputation that other people believed in and reacted to. And sometimes, a rumor based on a __kiss has a snowball effect. __A rumor, based on a kiss, is just the beginning._

The tape ends and he wonders if he really wants to continue listening to them.

He knows he has to. He owes it to himself to know what he did wrong.

He owes it to her.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. Should I continue or should I just stop? So I know people have written this before but I really wanted to try. Of course some things will change because this is Glee, duh. But it will at least still resemble the book. But some things will be exactly like the books. Becca is my OC. I needed someone to be Rachel's childhood friend and I didn't want any of the Gleeks to be her so I made up my own.**

**Review?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**A/N: You guys super thanks to all of you! 7 favorites, 4 reviews and 22 follows. So THANK YOU! I'm kinda new at this writing Glee Fanfics thing. Although I do have a one-shot.**

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**1B**

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He finds himself sitting in the middle of the wooden stage, twenty minutes later, after sneaking out of his room of course. He had so many memories with her on it. Whether it be them dancing, singing or making out.

He feels the tears sting his eyes but he doesn't allow them to come out. He has to be strong.

He presses the play button and her voice drifts out filling up the quiet auditorium.

_Welcome back. And thanks for hanging out for part two. If you're listening to this, one of two things has just happened. A: You're Finn, and after hearing your little tale you want to hear who's next. Or B: You're someone else and you're waiting to see if it's you. Well..._

He wonders if he's next. He braces himself for the name to leave her lips. But being Rachel Berry he knew she had to be dramatic about it.

_Quinn Fabray, it's your turn._

He lets out a huge sigh. It's not him.

_You know exactly why you're here right Quinn? Of course you do. Everyone knows why you're here._

_You made that stupid list. Why? For revenge. Because you were mad Finn was with me? Well you know what Q? You can have him back. He's all yours now._

He remembers the list. The list he took off her locker before she had a chance to see it.

_And now your probably thinking a list made you kill yourself? No Q it wasn't the list. It was you. You and other people. But mostly you. Why me? Why did you want to make my life miserable? The nicknames weren't enough. Man hands, RuPaul, Treasure Trail, Stubbles._

Standing up from the floor he plugs in his ear phones into the player before continuing to listen.

_So let's begin, shall we? It wasn't a list with just anyone on it huh Q? It was a best ass in class list right? And who's name was on the very top? Mine right? You feed right into those rumors. But you know that right? It was your plan all along._

_And now your probably thinking. Rachel Berry killed herself because of a list. But that's not it. It was because of what the list caused. That's what you were hoping would happen right Q? All because of what? A boy?_

_Wrong again. The reason you're on this tape is well... you're a bitch. Plain and simple._

A small smile grazes his face when he hears her words. She was right. Quinn was a bitch. He wished she had told her before. Not on the tapes.

_But that's not everything right Q? You knew what you were doing. Getting back at me for Finn and getting back at Santana for what? Seeing that you were a bitch. Granted she's a bitch too. But at least she owns up to it. So you killed two birds with one stone. You know I never really got that saying. After all I'm the only one dead, am I not?_

The smile slips off his face when he hears her confirm her death once again. He didn't need a reminder. He knew. God he fucking knew.

_But moving on. What did you think you were going to accomplish? Everyone already hated me, I was no one. Wasn't that enough? But you had to what? Turn Santana against me? Like she didn't hate me enough?_

_But you know what? Thanks for acknowledge that I had a nice ass. However, putting Santana on the other side of the list? That was your mistake. We all know she doesn't have any self esteem issues. That didn't stop her from coming after me, did it? I now have a new shiny scar on my eyebrow. So thank you Quinn._

He remembers seeing the scar. He remember the fight. He was the one pulling Santana off Rachel. He smirks slightly as he thinks of the list. At least Quinn got one thing right. Rachel did have a nice ass. If it was him, he would have put her under best legs. In the world. Period.

_What you didn't count on was Santana becoming a friend. She saw something in me that I didn't even see. So thank you Q. Thank you for giving me a friend._

_But now your probably think. I didn't do anything. Well you don't know, no one knows._

_Do you know what that list did? I couldn't go anywhere without someone leering at me. Trying to look up my skirt. You did this. It may not have been you but you caused it._

_And through out all of this I had a friend. So it was okay. I had Santana. But then. Then something happened._

He takes out the map glancing at the next star. The seven eleven. A place he knew all to well. Exiting the school he began making his way to the seven eleven. Taking a step into the store he nodded at the clerk.

Shoving his hands into his pockets and the earplugs back in his ears he began walking down the isles.

_It was after school. I hadn't been slushied in so long. So, so long. And certainly never outside of school. But that was my lucky day. I got slushied. And it wasn't even a grape one._

He hears the laughter in her voice and he wonders why she would be laughing.

_I was slushied. In the middle of a store. And then he proceeded to slap my ass._

His hands clench in a fist as he tries to calm himself. She had never told him this. Maybe. Maybe if she had she wouldn't be dead. Maybe he could have helped. Maybe he would have made a difference. Maybe he would be holding her on her bed instead of listening to the tapes.

Maybe she would be alive.

_Dave Krovosky. Are you proud of yourself? You were a part of this. So thank you. Thank you for making me feel like trash. Thank you for bulling me. Thank you for the slushies._

_Just thank you._

His hands shook as he handed the clerk his money and took a small sip of the grape slushy.

_And now your probably trying to convince yourself that this isn't your fault. Because how can saint Quinn ever be at fault. But it is your fault. You did this. You made the list. You shouldn't have made the list. But don't worry you're not the only one at fault. But you are the one that started it all._

Walking down the street he thinks back to the pregnant blonde. How could he have ever loved her? He knows the answer to that. He never loved her. Not really.

_We could have been friends. I would have stood up for you when everyone found out you were pregnant. I would have stood up for you when everyone found out it was Noah's baby. I would have been there. You lost a person that could have been a great friend. Are you happy now?_

His breath hitches at the sound of his name. He knows that everything she had just said was true. She would have been her friend. That was just the kind of person Rachel was. The kind of person she used to be.

_You called Noah a lima loser. But guess what? He's going to do great things. He's going to leave this town. And you're going to regret calling him that._

_But you. You're going to stay here. You're going to be the lima loser._

He feels tears pickle behind his eyelids. She always had believed in him so much.

And now she was gone.

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**A/N- Well sorry to any Quinn fans. Truthfully I don't like her at all. So yeah... Hope ya'll like this chapter. Sorry about the late update but I really am more focused on some of my other stories. And College of course.**

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	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. Anything you recognize is owned by Ryan Murphy or Jay Asher.**

**A/N: You guys! Thank you for the reviews AND the follows! Now read on!**

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**1B**

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Like always he wonders if he's next and he hopes he's not because then that would mean this was really and not a dream like he hopelessly wanted it to be.

Placing the second tape he pressed play.

_I guess you're wondering who's next. Don't worry I'll put you out of your misery._

_Mercedes sweetheart you're up._

He was able to breath again.

_Why didn't you like me? What did I ever do to you? Was it because I always got all the solos? Because that seems like a very childish reason to. I can't help if my voice is better than yours and that I've had years of vocal training._

He smirked because that was just so like Rachel. His Rachel. And she was right. Because she was better. She was fuckin better than anyone he had ever heard sing. She was better than anyone in this stupid town. He wished he had told her. Maybe everything would be different. Maybe she would be there with him.

_You know. I though we would be friends. I though we could all be friends -laughs- What a joke huh? To think that just because I was a part of something special, it would make me special. Poor Rachel Berry no body likes her. She's so annoying._

He can hear the tears in her voice and his own star tearing up but he can't let the tears fall. He just _fuckincant._

_I would have been a great friend. Remember when I tried being your friend and Kurt's friend? I do. You threw it back in my face. "Why would anyone want to be friends with you white-girl."_

_I just wanted friends. You have no idea how bad I wanted them. And I got Kurt. And what did you do?_

He can tell that the tears are running down her face when she takes a deep breath to try and stop them. He wishes he would hold her in his arms. His hands in her hair trying to sooth her just like every other time he had done it. He just wanted her there. With him.

_And suddenly I had a target on my back. Because I was friends with Kurt. Guess what Mercedes not everything revolves around you._

_Remember all those little hurtful things you said to me? No? I remember. I remember all of them. How can I not? You might think that "You always end up stealing the spotlight." "I'm so sick of hearing you squat."_

He knows for sure that she's crying when he hears her let out a small sigh.

_And no matter how many hurtful things you said. Or anyone said for that matter. I wanted to be your friend. So so bad. But you didn't. And when I became friends with Kurt. What did you do? You joined Quinn. You made my life miserable. But that didn't stop, not when I stopped dating Finn, not when I tried not being friends with Kurt._

He remembers seeing her around the hallways mostly always by herself, when Santana couldn't be there with her. That's when he really got to know the real Rachel Berry. The one he loved. That's when it all started. He thinks back to those days and there's nothing he wouldn't do to go back to them.

_I'm tried of being laughed at. Why does everybody hate me? I never did anything to any of you. I tried being your friend. And you shut me down. That's all anyone ever does. Shuts me down. Without getting to know me. Everyone but San, Noah and Kurt._

_Remember when you threw your little Diva fit? No professional ever does that Mercedeas. You will never be cast if you do that again. Word of advice. The crazy thing is I was ready to give up Maria for you. Because I wanted you to be my friend that much. That friken much. _

He hears the beginning of a song. And he knows she's going to sing. And even though he's missed it, _sofuckinbad_, hes not entirely sure he's ready for it.

_What have I done? I wish I could run. Away from this ship goin' under. Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone else. Now I feel the weight of the world is, On my shoulders._

He begins walking towards the bleachers, their place, as her words ring through his head. Her powerful voice filling up his thoughts.

_What can you do when your good isn't good enough? When all that you touch tumbles down? 'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things, I just wanna fix it somehow. But how many it times will it take? Oh, how many times will it take for me? To get it right, To get it ri-igh-ight_

_Can I start again with my faith shaken? 'Cause I can't go back and undo this I just have to stay and face my mistakes, But if I get stronger and wiser. I'll get through this_

He's so tired. So so tired. He feels the hot tears running down his face as he hears her sing. She sound so heartbroken. He just wants to wrap her up in his arms and tell her everything would be okay. But he can't. Cause nothing is okay. _Nothingisfuckinokay._

_What can you do when your good isn't good enough? When all that you touch tumbles down?'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things. I just wanna fix it somehow, But how many it times will it take? Oh, how many times will it take for me? To get it right, To get it ri-igh-ight_

Running a hand over the little hair he has he squeezes his eyes shut. The hot tears leaking out from under his eyelids.

_So I throw up my fist, thow a punch in the air. And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair. Yeah, I'll send out a wish, Yeah, I'll send up a prayer And finally, someone will see._

_How much I care!_

_What can you do when your good isn't good enough? When all that you touch tumbles down? 'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things. I just wanna fix it somehow. But how many it times will it take? Oh, how many times will it take for me? To get it right, To get it ri-igh-ight._

The song comes to an end and he wishes there was a playback button so he can listen to her voice. One last time.

_I guess I just wasn't strong enough._

"You know. She wrote that song. Her own song. She could have been a star." he jumps up when he hears foot steps approach him and a distinct voice he knows too well.

"She was a star." he corrects him wiping the tears away. Because tears were not fuckin manly.

"I'm sorry Puck." Kurt placed his hand on his shoulder "I'm so sorry." Kurt sits next to him as they both look out onto the field.

"Noah." he corrects him. "It's Noah."

Kurt gives him a smile "She loved you. I know you loved her."

He swallows the lump in his throat as his eyes begin to blur. He should have told her. Now it was _toofuckinlate_.

"I did." he says quietly as they both look over the football field.

"She loves it here you know." Kurt said with a fond smile "She says it's your place." Kurt laughs "You know she loved when you sang to her. The way to Rachel Berry's heart was through music. I think you were the only one who understood that."

He stays quiet but nods and his eyes cloud over for a second before he asks "Do you have the second set of tapes?"

Kurt nods "I do."

He's hesitant to ask "Can I have them. When everyone has listened to them, I mean."

Kurt gives him a curious look "Sure. But-" he doesn't know what to say to the broken man sitting in front of him.

"You knew. You didn't do anything to stop it." he says not looking at the smaller boy "Why didn't you say something?" his voice is slightly hysterical.

"I dint know." Kurt says softly "I promise that I didn't know. I would have stopped it. I would have. Rachel was my best friend. I would have done anything for her." his voice is shaky as he talks. "You didn't know. You loved her and you didn't know. There was no way we could have stopped this Noah. She played this."

He laughs "Of course she planned this. She's Rachel Barbara Fuckin Berry." his laughs turns slightly hysterical.

"I wished I could have stopped it." his hands shake as they clutch at the small tape player. "How could I not have now? I was always with her? I loved her!"

Kurt scoots closer to him placing his hand on his shoulder, surprised when he doesn't push him away instantly. "I know. But Rachel does what she wants. You couldn't have stopped her."

_You know he's right_ the little voice inside his head. The voice that sounds suspiciously like Rachel.

He knows. But that doesn't stop him from wishing he had know. He would have stopped her. He would have stopped because he loved her.

He could have stopped her.

He cries. Because she's right. He couldn't stop her.

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**A/N: I seriously sat in front of my computer as soon as Glee ended and tried to write. It is now 1: 47 and I finally got it all down. I was distracted by Lark videos and Puckleberry videos and pictures xD What did ya'll think of Glee? Feel free to message me with your thoughts on tonights episode. I'm living my Puckleberry dreams through Jarley. On that note. Anyone know of any Puckleberry fics that include Jarley? If so send them my way. Also you guys give me an idea of who ya'll would like it see in these tapes! It would be greatly appreciated.**

**A/N: Also I have no fuckin idea about the time line of this fic. I absolutely do not. But it is before Quinn has the baby. So somewhere between Quinn being pregnant and the end of season 1. But I did throw in that song and Mercedes Diva-tude from season 3, because this is FF and I can xD I'll probably throw in some other things that didn't happen until the other seasons, if they fit. Also Mash-Up never happened. Our favorite couple got together another way. Which will be revealed later on. **

**Wow that was two long A/Ns. **

**Review?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did... well Puck would be in every episode.**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews AND the follows. Thank you!**

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**2B**

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He watches as Kurt walks away from him with a grim smile. Shuffling his feet he makes himself get off the bleachers and head the opposite direction from the smaller boy.

Putting the headphones in he closes his eyes and presses play.

_There's a fire starting in my heart_

_Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark_

_Finally I can see you crystal clear_

_Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare_

_See how I'll leave, with every piece of you_

_Don't underestimate the things that I will do_

_There's a fire starting in my heart_

_Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark_

His breath hitches as he hear her voice again. He hopes she starts off every tape with song if only to listen to her sing one last time.

_The scars of your love remind me of us_

_They keep me thinking that we almost had it all_

_The scars of your love, they leave me breathless_

_I can't help feeling_

_We could have had it all_

She stops singing and he swears he can hear the tears roll down her cheeks before she says in a voice that breaks his heart.

_Jesse. You're next._

His hands clench into fist with the small mention of St. James' name.

_You know. I actually though I could have loved you. Loved Jesse! You were everything I'd ever dreamed of. You loved to sing. You loved musicals. You were perfect. Except your weren't not even close._

_Everyone warned me about you. They said I should have kept away. Even my daddies said to stay away from you. And they love everyone!_

_But I didn't listen. Why should I? I wanted this. And hey you liked me. I wasn't the one doing the chasing this time. It was you._

_So after the third time you called me and asked me out. I though why not. And I let you in._

_And then you used me._

_Why? You didn't even know me. And you decided to go with her plan without even knowing me._

He can hear the pure anger in her voice as she talked. Anger she had never shown anyone. She had just taken it all in stride. Or so everyone though.

_But it wasn't all like that. At the beginning it as good. You were a great boyfriend at the beginning. You transferred to my school to be with me. I had never been so flattered._

_And I finally had someone in that choir room that backed me up. Someone that didn't hate me. Someone that understood the importance of winning. Someone that loved music just as much as I did._

_Except it wasn't like that at all._

He hears her breath hitch as she talks and he knows she's trying to keep the tears at bay.

_You know I defended you when everyone said you were just using me. I was going to give you my virginity. I was going to give you all of me._

He can't help but smirk because he knew that she defiantly not given Jesse her virginity.

_I do have one thing to thank you for. For helping me find my mom. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have meet her. So thank you for that. I finally knew who my mom was._

_I was willing to forgive you about going behind my back. I understood. You had done it all for Shelby. Because she was your coach. She could make or break your future._

_I could forgive that._

_Because truth be told I would do anything to win. Anything. And if that included doing what you did then I would have done it._

He can't help but agree. He knew she would do anything in her power to win. And she would just take in stride as another thing to help her get to the top.

_But then you egged me. EGGED ME! I'm a vegan you fuckin idiot._

He smirks at her curse because he knew just how mad she had to be to say one. She had once told him that cursing was signs of bad mannerism and unprofessionalism.

_Those were baby chickens! You egged me. That I cannot forgive. It was worst than being slushied. So much worst._

He knows she's crying now. His fist clench as he hears her cry softly. He remembers going over to Carmel High and slicing their tires. And even though they weren't together yet he had never felt more satisfied in his life.

_But you know what. Your egging. It gave me Noah. And that was the best thing you could have ever given me._

He smiled softly thinking back to when she had shown up at his door steps.

* * *

_After two minutes of trying to ignore the knocking on his from door he finally got off his bed only to hear his sister shout up the stairs "Noah! There's a girl here for you. And she's pretty!"_

_Hurrying down the stairs he found them standing in the small hall "Hey." he said a bit awkwardly before turning to his sister "Brat. What happened to not opening the door to strangers?"_

_"She has cookie." Sara shrugged before adding sarcastically "I really don't think she's here to kill us."_

_Ruffling her hair he rolled his eyes "I don't need your fuckin' tude Sara." he responded before steering her up the stairs "Now go do your homework. Ma is checking it when she gets home."_

_Sara rolled her eyes at him before stomping up the stairs._

_"So?" he asked stuffing his hands in his jean pockets._

_Rachel shifted nervously holding two containers in her hands. "I brought some cookie and brownies."_

_"Not that I'm complaining babe, cause I love my cookies and brownies but what are you doing here with delicious dessert?" he asked eyeing the containers._

_Rachel followed him into the kitchen putting the two containers on the table "The cookie are a Thank You for standing up to me and slashing Jessie's tires even though that's highly irresponsible and juvenile of you. If I had done it, I wouldn't have gotten caught." she smiled at him._

_He just shook his head laughing quietly. She was probably right._

_"The brownies are an I'm sorry you got caught and now you have to pay for the tires. And I'm sorry you're probably grounded." she continued. "I made some for Finn, and Matt as well."_

_With a grin he took a bite out of the sugar cookie "Babe these are fuckin awesome." he told her with a smirk "Thanks. And yeah I am grounded until I'm like dead. Crazy Jew Ma is like seriously pissed. She said the only way she will ever forgive me is if I give her a gorgeous Jew daughter in law and beautiful Jew grandchildren. I told her I gave her Beth but that just made her mad because she really hates Quinn."_

_He was surprised to see hear her laugh loudly with her head thrown back. He decided she looked beautiful laughing._

_"Actually she get's here any minute now. So you should probably leave before she tries to plan a wedding or some shit." he commented before watching her smile slowly fade "Not that I want you to leave it's just that ma is seriously batshit crazy and she will call the rabbi if she even sees me talking to you. I swear, Berry."_

_She laughed again before stepping closer to him and placing a hand on his chest, leaning up she placed a quick kiss on his lips._

_Before she could step away from him he lightly gripped her hips "Did you give that too Finn and Mike too?" he asked seriously._

_"No." she smiled nervously._

_"Good." he responded before leaning down and catching her lips with her._

_Rachel leaned against him wrapping her arms around his next returning his kiss with just as much enthusiasm._

_"Not that I want you to leave but my ma gets here in like a few minutes because she has crazy Jew-Ninja senses that tell her when I have a girl in the house. And if you stay here any longer we will be getting married by tomorrow." he said in a whisper._

_She laughed against his lips before pulling away "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked biting her lip nervously._

_"Pick you up at eight babe." he said with a small smirk before leading her to the front door._

_His ma arrived not five even minutes later._

* * *

Shaking his head at the memory he laughed.

His ma had never meet Rachel. Not because Rachel didn't want to meet her. But because he was way to scared of the craziness that would insure. Because he was sure that putting Rachel Berry and Hannah Puckerman in a room was just asking for trouble.

Now he wished he had allowed his ma to meet her. Maybe then she would understand how he felt and why he didn't want to go to school.

Pressing the play button he held his breath as music began to play and she began to sing.

_The scars of your love remind me of us_

_They keep me thinking that we almost had it all_

_The scars of your love, they leave me breathless_

_I can't help feeling_

_We could have had it all_

_Rolling in the deep_

_You had my heart inside your hand_

_And you played it to the beat_

_Baby, I have no story to be told_

_But I've heard one of you and I'm gonna make your head burn_

_Think of me in the depths of your despair_

_Making a home down there as mine sure won't be shared_

_The scars of your love remind you of us_

_They keep me thinking that we almost had it all_

_The scars of your love, they leave me breathless_

_I can't help feeling_

_We could have had it all_

* * *

**A/N: How was that? Okay so I totally change the time line again. I'm sorry. I just can't decide where this takes place. But probably before like the third season. BUT hey we finally get to see how they got together! And some of Crazy Jew Ma! I'm sorry about the late update. College is a serious cockblock. No lie. But I'm on break so I can write again without feeling like I'm going to fail every class. **

**Review?**


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